Life of a Bug

Monday, August 15, 2011


Don't you think that relationships are like an elastic? You can stretch a hundred times. You can take them for granted. They will always get back to their original shape. Almost original.
If you cross a limit, at one point they just break. Never to be fixed again.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Fiddler on the Sub

I was surprised to see few comments posted on the blog. I cannot believe that some of you actually cared to read through my boring monologue.

I recently came across a story, written by a Pulitzer Prize winner (funny how a prize becomes someone’s identity) . I found the story very fascinating and thought provoking. On a busy morning, one weekday on a subway station in DC, Weingarten sees that people pass by, without caring much about musician clad in rags, playing a cello.

Puzzled if it's the quality of the music, musician’s attire or that people do not care for beautiful things anymore- Weingarten wanted to explore the subject deeper. With the help of a friend, Weingarten managed to pursue world class violinist, Joshua Bell to play for pennies at the subway station and be a part of this social experiment.

In spite of his outstanding hour long performance, the violinist was able to earn only a few dollars.
After interviewing some of the by standers and passerby, the author concludes that
It’s not that people do not care about beautiful things anymore. Neither is it that they are too busy to appreciate beauty.

The human nature is such that it prioritizes its choices. If it was a Friday evening or an afternoon on a lazy summer weekend - lots of people would have gathered to enjoy the music. Monday morning on the subway , on the way to work- music , no matter how pure, how beautiful does not get many listeners.

How true is the observation and so in line with my own thoughts. We have knit our web of life such that- we are always busy chasing our futile desires. Whole life goes running after education, job, providing for the needs of family till you retire (if ever).

What is all this for – after all?

Saturday, November 14, 2009


We all get these vibrations from within ,quite literally called 'Antarang' in hindi. Something that makes us reflect on the world around us.
There is no conclusion to this post but just one of my 'Antarang'.
Consider this
You are in your car or on a bike and stop on a light. Lost in your thought,waiting for the signal to turn green ,when a beggar tap for arm. Almost startled, you exclaim 'Go away' or 'Agay chalo' or 'Hogo' . You look away and block the beggar out and assume he is not around. You try to go back to your thoughts and move on with your life. May be because you know there is no solution to the problem. As part of growing up we learn to block out the things that we do not want to think about.
Consider this now
2:You did not sleep in your usual bed, last night. Next morning,you wake up and open your eyes to strange surroundings. It takes you few seconds to get re-oriented and recall that you did not sleep at home last night.
When we find it so weird to wake up in a strange room and immediately question 'Where am I', how come we never ask 'Who am I?Why am I here? Why Earth? What is with this Universe?What was there before the time?The purpose of life and universe? What part of my body is actually 'me'?
I should not say that we do not ask , the thought crosses our mind but just like other complex problems , we just block these questions out.
The questions is screaming at you all the time in the form of Sun during day or countless stars at night. You look up and you know your existence is negligible in the whole scheme.
Since the beginning of human existence, the sky has been poking the same question but we roll up our windows and look away. We know there is no possible answer so we defined our Gods ,religions and social rules. We grow up ,get married ,make babies and then get busy to support them. We do our bit towards the 'continuity' of human life and move on. There is enough material in the world for you to worry about, so that you do not think about the most obvious-'where am I'?
Is not it the craziest thing- we ignore the most obvious question and continue with our imaginary lives.

Monday, June 29, 2009


As I might have already told you Hazaaro Khwahishay.. is one my favourite movie.
I watched or should I say watched again this movie-Gulaal.
One movie I must say you should watch-A complex movie.

Saturday, June 27, 2009


As some of you may know....

The most exiting part of buying a house is when u make an offer and wait for the response.
Its like initial days of dating.
Did she call? May be I was not home and she did. May be its time I get a cell phone..
Oh I should check the mail may be there is something from her....I wonder......
Are not those the best days of a relationship.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

life is strange

Just thinking-
Is it
a) Life gives you everything that you don't want. You get all the things that you do not want. Bends you till you start liking whatever it wants you to do? (Glass half full)
b) Or is it that you just cannot appreciate what you get and chase that something that you could not have?( glass half full)

Friday, July 11, 2008


One of my oldest memory is of the day, lying outside on the string cot, on a pleasant winter afternoon। One of those days from the good old memories of good old Dehradun।
What is MmmmMrag.... umm , I had asked ,turning on to one of the pages with a deer drawn in the background and some very difficult word written as title of poem.
My Mother told me it is 'मृगतृष्णा' (Mrigtrishna) - a word that is made up of two words : Mrig + Trishna.She had patiently explained the poem - I do not remember the poem but remember it's meaning.She did not need her doctorate in Hindi literature , as its a common knowledge in India- The story of Musk Deer.That time when she explained- I did not know what is 'musk' but had seen deer at deer park @ malsi, a local deer habitat/zoo/park.
She has told- The deer gets the strong smell of musk from inside his body. He spends his whole life in search of the source of the smell.Why does none tell him that he is the source of that smell and he has to just look inside? That was my thought then and may be I even asked her- I do not remember.
Years have passed since then- I still do not know if its just a myth or a scientific truth, if the musk deer spends his life chasing after the smell or not. I know for sure though- the lines have much deeper meaning. Little did I know then , that this will become the story of my life. I know the 'satisfaction' am searching for is within me but it is guess it is not that easy to resign to the fact. I know it is not my story alone and everyone feels that way, may be everyone is equally restless. I do not know. How else could 'I still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' by U2 be such a big hit?